Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
