Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
