Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
