She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
