what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize