quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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