Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
