Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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