I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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