This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
