You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
