6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
