he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm both gender and math confused
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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