Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize