her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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