What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
