Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Randomize
