So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
