you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
