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We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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