are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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