That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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