We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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