Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
