at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
