She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
why do cheetos always look like penises
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
