In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
