we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
