the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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