these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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