I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
