we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
