Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
