im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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