So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
