Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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