just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
