i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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