I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
