i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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