I looked at my own cervix.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
