nutella sex= disaster
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
