This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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