After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
