Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
