found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize
