Well douche your snatch and let's go!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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