Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
