She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
