Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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