i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
