I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
