I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize