Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
