so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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