Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
