I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
