meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
