I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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