the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
