A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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